Monday, January 08, 2007

Things I Learnt from Stuff Magazine

Inspired by TheCultFigurine's InStyle Idiocy of the Month, I thought I'd take on the contents of my free* monthly periodical, Stuff Magazine. What did I learn from this month's issue?

Native Americans are psychic. This is according to Jami (a neighborhood knockout, and she doesn't use boxing gloves if you know what I mean...):

"I don't fall for pickup lines; I see right through them. I get vibes about people. Some would even call me psychic. I'm part Native American, and we are said to be psychic."

Magic is a great way to meet women. (This is why David Copperfield dated Claudia Schiffer). For example, if you meet a smoker at a nightclub, making their matchstick disappear and re-appear is bound to impress them. (Does anyone use matchsticks anymore? Besides, no-one in Seattle can smoke in a nightclub anymore, so this trick will mainly be of use if you hide in the bushes outside the club.)

Tired of mixing the alcohol with your Red Bull? Luckily there are now malt beverages that have the alcohol, caffeine, taurine, etc. all mixed for you. Sounds yummy! I wonder if The Guy's Guide to Wine will update their table to include a "If you like malt beverages with caffeine, you'll like _____ wine"?

Now we can come like girls. Thanks to the miracles of modern science, "the pleasure is no longer all theirs". (Those pesky women experience orgasms of greater length and higher intensity than men - and everyone knows men should be at the top of everything!) I wonder if the FDA has tested this stuff? ;)

*See this entry

No comments: